M1 skipper, our favourite Maurice
Proudly positioned at bow,
Took great care of his boatclub,
And pink boats and all, til now.
M1 skipper, our favourite Maurice
Received some attention, we hear
From a buxom young lass that he met just last term
Over several glasses of beer.
M1 skipper, shy little Maurice,
After the last boatclub dinner
Left his companion alone in the bar
Deflated and looking much thinner.
M1 skipper, thinking it normal
Assumed she would be right as rain
But by the next morning the lady had vanished,
And he thought he would have to abstain.
King Ben put up a notice
"LOST, STOLEN or STRAYED"
One of our boaties' private possessions
Seems to have been mislaid.
Last seen, wandering vagely,
Quite of her own accord.
She tried to get down to a boatclub in town
"FORTY SHILLINGS REWARD"
The lady in question, AKA Phillipa
Hasn't been heard of since.
Luke and Andy said they were sorry,
and did so the porters and Vince.
Maurice was rumoured to curse "bloody 'ell"
But nobody heard him for sure
So the moral is simple: in boats and in life,
Never trust an inflatable whore.